Friendships

Friendships are important - they make you feel good and give you support when you need it.

A good friend will make you feel happy and will listen when you want to talk. They will help you when times are tough and be kind and caring towards you.

In an unhealthy friendship, someone might try to make you do something you don't want to do, or doesn't keep a secret you have told them.

Sometimes there are problems with friendships - you might have an argument or simply grow apart.

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Need More Help? Mental Health Advice & Support

Our Experiences

By young people, for young people

"I get angry and it can often lead to me getting aggressive and shouting at my friends.

"I deal with it by calling my boyfriend and crying. He always talks me down and helps me to see things clearly."

Olivia, Age 14

(Some names changed to protect people's identities)

All You Need to Know

Making friends can be difficult, particularly if you are not naturally confident.
- Try to find people with similar hobbies and interests - there might be clubs or groups in your area you can join.
- Be confident -  positive body language like a smile can help make you seem more friendly.
- Ask questions about the other person and try to find something in common.
Find local groups and clubs here
It is not okay for a friend to try and persuade you to do something you are not comfortable with.

Whether it’s pushing you into taking drugs, or hurting someone else, it is okay to say no to something if it makes you uncomfortable.

If you are struggling to say no:
- Make up an excuse to get you out of the situation.
- Suggest an alternative idea.
- Have an escape plan so you can get away if you need to.
If you see someone else being pressured into doing something they don't want to, stand up for them - it could really help them.
Friendships can have ups and downs. Some arguments can be resolved and sometimes friends drift apart. If you feel that things are tough with a friendship, why not try:
- Talking things through to avoid any misunderstanding.
- Making an effort to keep in touch so that you don't drift apart.
- If you're part of a friendship group, explain if you feel left out.
Not all friendships last forever and it is important to be able to move on when a friendship ends. Sometimes you just can't resolve the issue, or you've grown apart.

This might make you feel angry or sad - it is actually a similar feeling to grief. It is important to express your feelings and not to bottle them up.

Speak to someone you trust or try a service such as Childline. You could also try writing a diary or expressing yourself through drawing pictures.
Sometimes you might start to have romantic feelings for a friend, which can be confusing.

Try to take a step back and work out how you are feeling or speak to someone you trust and ask their opinion. While it is good to be open and honest, there is a chance that revealing your feelings could change your friendship, so be aware of that possibility.

Who Can Help?

If there's an adult or friend you can trust, have a chat with them about your questions or worries. They might be able to put your mind at rest or give you some useful advice.

If you live in Norfolk:

If you're 11-19 you can text ChatHealth on 07480 635060 for anonymous and confidential advice from a health professional. ChatHealth is available Monday to Friday 9am - 5pm.

You can also contact the Norfolk Healthy Child Programme by calling Just One Number on 0300 300 0123. Our opening hours are 8am-6pm Monday-Friday (excluding bank holidays) and 9am-1pm on Saturdays.

If you live in Waveney:

You can call the Suffolk School Nursing service on 0345 607 8866 or email childrenshealth@suffolk.gov.uk.

Childline - if you're under 19, you can call 0800 1111 for free support.

Kooth offers online counselling, advice and emotional well-being support for anyone aged 10-18, seven days a week until 10pm.

Useful Articles and Guidance

Young Minds - a guide to friends

Friendship advice, including the importance of friendships for your mental health, understanding when a friendship is unhealthy and coping with peer pressure.